


Double Date

by Raveniires



Series: Of Bats and Martians [5]
Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Dating, Double Dating, F/M, M/M, Semi-Public Sex, Shapeshifting, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-03 06:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14562675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raveniires/pseuds/Raveniires
Summary: Diana wants to take Clark on a double date with Bruce and J'onn. Bruce is reluctant, but J'onn wants to see how it goes. Bruce has never really been able to refuse J'onn.





	1. Propositions

“So.” Superman trailed off, and Batman was very tempted to ignore him. Still, the way he was actually starting to blush made Batman look towards him with a raised eyebrow.

“What.” Batman kept his tone as bland and uninterested as possible.

Superman looked away. “Diana was-” he rubbed the back of his neck in obvious discomfort- “she was wondering if you and J’onn would like to go on a double date.”

Batman narrowed his eyes, which made Superman start to try and backtrack and explain himself more.

_ What is a double date? _

Batman sent the rough idea to J’onn, ignoring most of Superman’s verbal flailing.

_ It would be nice to go on an actual date, for once. _

_Are you saying I don’t take you on good dates?_ Batman thought sarcastically.

_ As much as I enjoy fishing your children out of Gotham Harbor, I would like to see what humans do with their significant others. _

_ Ah yes, an Amazon and a Kryptonian, the perfect models of human behavior. _

The laughter he got in return almost made him smile, despite the cold look he was trying to give Superman.

“--And you’re not even listening, are you?” Superman asked.

“I was waiting for you to finish putting your foot in your mouth.”

Superman sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “I told her we should just ask J’onn,” he muttered under his breath.

Batman ignored that, letting Superman think it had gone unheard. “Are you ready for Clark to be dating Wonder Woman?”

Superman gave him a confused look. “What?”

“Are you ready for Clark Kent to stop being the virtually unnoticed reporter?”

“Oh, that. Diana and I have gone on dates in public before. It hasn’t been a big deal.”

“Maybe. But people notice what Bruce Wayne does, and who he is seen with.”

Superman looked thoughtful. “We could do something in costume together.”

“Like every day of our lives?”

“Well, do you have any ideas?”

“Wally has weekly pizza parties at his place. I’m told they’re fun.”

_ They are. _

“I’m not sure how much I believe it, but it’s an option,” Batman finished.

He got the mental equivalent of being smacked upside the head, and he felt like there was some comment about him being a little shit.

“I’ll talk to Diana, see if she has any ideas.”

Batman nodded, turning back to his work.

 

* * *

 

J’onn stared at the screens, only half seeing what was on them. In his mind he watched the sun rise through Bruce’s eyes. The Bat lay at rest in the cave, for now, and his mate soon would go to work, but watching the light of day spread over Gotham once more was nearly a ritual with them now.

“So.” Diana paused meaningfully, clearly waiting for his attention.

J’onn untangled his mind from Bruce’s as gently as he could, then looked up from the console at her. “Yes?”

“I found a little place down in South America that we could go to. They don’t know the Justice League there, and they certainly don’t know Bruce Wayne.” Diana smiled, triumph clear enough in her expression and body language. The thought of, _I won and Batman doesn’t have a way out of this one_ , was clear enough that J’onn once again wondered if she didn’t know she was projecting, or if Amazons simply didn’t have volume control on strong thoughts or emotions.

Nonetheless, he shuffled the suggestion off to Bruce.

The reply was, _South America’s a continent. I need a country and city. Restaurant too, ideally._

“He wants to know where.”

Diana stared at him for a second. “Sometimes I forget the bond you share.”

There was a quick but intense wave of some mangled emotion from her. Was that envy? Something similar at least. J’onn filed it away and let it be, for now.

“Anyway, tell him that he needs to be a little more adventurous.”

_ Is that so? _

J’onn laughed softy at the indignant thought sent his way. _Perhaps this once we could_ _go along with_ _it_ _._

_ Last time I went along with one of Clark’s plans, he nearly got killed. _

_ I recall. Is Diana’s judgment the same, then? _

_ She’s been compromised by him. Yes. _

J’onn tilted his head slightly. _Then have I compromised your judgment?_

_Yes._ Not even a moment’s hesitation in the reply.

_ How? I did not think either of us had changed. _

_ I’ve been more careful since bonding with you. _

_ Hmm. I hadn’t noticed. _

J’onn felt Bruce shove at his mind. Not truly trying to push him out, but rather a playful sort of mimic of what he would do in person.

He smiled and continued. _I understand if you are not comfortable with this, but-_

Bruce interrupted him. _I trust you J’onn._ The thought was followed with the sort of bubbly happiness that Bruce’s love always felt like.

_ Thank you. _

_ And besides, we can always ditch them. _

This time, J’onn laughed out loud.

Diana turned her head from the monitors to him.

“We shall join you.”

She grinned.


	2. The Date

Bruce trusted the other Leaguers. Really, he did. But there was something about being in an unfamiliar country that set him on edge. Add to that the fact that while these people didn’t know the League, they would certainly notice a 6’8” Martian, and therefore J’onn had shifted into a much less objectionable form. The body he had chosen almost looked like a blend between Zatanna and Vixen.

As appealing as he looked, it wasn’t enough to distract Bruce from his unease. Even J’onn’s soft mental touch wasn’t helping soothe him as much as it normally did. Still, he forced himself to remain calm, hoping for his heartbeat to keep steady. He did not want Clark acting weird about it.

J’onn squeezed his hand as they walked down the street, a few paces behind Diana and Clark. _Tell me what will help._

_Being home._ Bruce sent back bluntly. No point in trying to soften the emotions behind it, J’onn could feel what he was feeling.

He got the impression of a thoughtful hum.

“This is it!” Diana called out to them.

Bruce eyed the building with suspicion. It didn’t look anywhere near as legitimate as he had hoped.

_ I’m sure it’s not as bad as that. _

Bruce realized that his concerned thoughts of rats running through the kitchen must have seeped through. He glanced over at J’onn. The brown eyes looking back at him threw him off more than he had expected. _We should probably do this sort of thing more often._

_ Or perhaps there is a form that you would find less jarring. _

_I’ve gotten used to the green._ He could feel the smile J’onn was giving him as they followed the other two to a table.

_ Perhaps this could help. _

Bruce nearly stumbled as he felt J’onn tangle deeper in his mind. It shouldn’t have been unexpected, considering the way J’onn had been creeping in, but he had been too distracted to notice. It was a strange feeling- almost like a sort of pressure in his skull, but soothing and comforting. The greatest benefit though, was that he could _feel_ that J’onn was with him.

He slid into the booth, sitting next to J’onn. He was nearly on autopilot at this point, leaning closer to J’onn than necessary & draping his arm across the back of the seat behind his husband’s distractingly female body.

“As much as I miss my sisters,” Diana said, “Man’s world is so much more interesting and colorful. This place has so much character.”

Bruce eyed the exposed nails in the bar next to them. “So does the Le Chateaubriand, but it doesn’t have tetanus.”

Diana and Clark gave him annoyed looks, but J’onn laughed quietly.

"You're the one who kept complaining," Diana argued.

"Because you two don't think."

J'onn laid his hand on Bruce's thigh. _Be nicer to them._

_ I'm not wrong. _

_ No. But we're trying to have a nice night out. _

_ I'm the only one here who could die from the food. I think I get to complain. _

J'onn gave his thigh a little reassuring squeeze.

"We do too think. We found several nice places that we could all go to." Clark said.

"And you brought us here instead?" Bruce asked.

Clark made a face. "Bruce-"

"Enough," J'onn intervened. "Let's not fight."

Clark nodded. "So Bruce, how's Gotham been lately?"

Bruce held back a sigh. "The same as usual. Joker went on a rampage two days ago."

Diana glanced over at Clark, looking like she was trying to figure out what to say. While the two of them were busy, Bruce allowed himself to sink deeper into the cushion of J'onn's mind.

_I suppose that this works better for normal people._ J'onn mused.

_ Probably. _

J'onn's hand shifted inwards slowly.

_ J'onn? _

_Yes? _ J'onn replied innocently. The dirty ideas that followed it made it absolutely clear that his actions were much less than innocent.

_ Now isn't the best time. _

_ It would relax you. _

Bruce bit his lip. J'onn wasn't wrong. Maybe it was what he needed. He quickly weighed the options of where would be the best to do it.

Diana and Clark were whispering to each other.

"I'm going to check the kitchen," Bruce said.

The two of them were too caught up in their conversation to answer, and he stood and walked to the back of the restaurant. As he had suspected, the 'emergency exit' was just a backdoor that led into an alley.

J'onn was doing a very good job of riling him up through their bond. He leaned back against the wall next to the door. A few minutes later, J'onn walked out.

Bruce grinned at him. He pushed off the wall and kissed J'onn, walking the two of them back until J'onn's back hit the wall.

J'onn hitched a leg over Bruce's hip, and started fumbling at his fly with one hand.

This was going to be a good date after all.

 

* * *

 

“Are they doing what I think they’re doing?” Diana asked.

Clark stared determinedly at his menu. “Yes.”

“That’s awfully rude-”

“Please just talk to me about anything else.”

 

* * *

 

J'onn brushed Bruce's hair back and away from his face. "Not so bad. Perhaps they will not even notice."

Bruce sniggered. "Please. Superhearing, remember?"

J'onn gave a little hum. "True." He straightened out Bruce's shirt collar.

The soft smile Bruce gave him made his heart flutter. He rested his hand on Bruce's cheek and leaned in for another kiss. Their tongues met for a moment before Bruce pulled away.

"They're going to think we abandoned them if we don't get back."

J'onn wanted to argue, but he could sense that Clark wanted nothing more than to leave the country. Although that probably had to do more with what he must have heard. The two of them went back to the table, and Diana was giving them a distressed look.

“Isn’t it strange to… you know, in a different body?”

J’onn shrugged. “Not particularly.”

Diana tilted her head, looking confused. “But-”

“So Bruce how are your kids doing?” Clark interrupted loudly.

J’onn heard the cackling that Bruce was holding back.

“They’re doing well. Damien’s getting in less fights with the teachers. Jason visited the other week.”

The relief on Clark’s face was evident. “How about Dick?”

Bruce smiled, and from there on the night went off without a hitch.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter two next week!


End file.
